The Chapman Zone Dave’s Blog

….for the unmitigated dullness of my last post.

I just read it, and had to restrain myself from slamming my head in the fridge repeatedly to try to wake my brain up, which had just gone into a coma in protest.

In my defense, I just felt that I had to post something, as it has been a stupidly long time since I actually used this site.

I apologise unreservedly to you, and will welcome suggestions for ways in which to punish myself, both for the dull post, and for my lack of blogularity. Physical, mental, sexual - I don’t mind.

…….preferably sexual though.

So I come in to work from a long weekend off, up to my desk to find a slip of paper on my keyboard, which read:

“Please switch off your monitor before you go home. Think of the environment and save energy.”

All very noble indeed, and I was certain that I actually did turn my monitor off on Friday when I left. That’s not why I write this post however.

No. You see, the Environmental Police must have done their rounds on Friday evening, as this place is too tight-fisted to pay weekend staff. So they came round, saw my monitor was on, and left me a note to tell me to turn it off in future, so concerned are they with the environment…..

…..which begs the question - why did they leave the monitor on after leaving me this note? They take the time (and use the paper) to leave me a note, but do not turn off the offending drain on electricity…….

Such rich meat to feed one of my rants, but I’m too busy here….damn them, actually expecting me to do work…..

I will, however, make one little statement on the nature of environmental politics in this country:

“Top down, Mr Brown.”

Actually, that’s quite catchy……..