The Chapman Zone Dave’s Blog

I finished Scouts on Friday night, and drove straight up to Lyons Copse for Cub Camp. Limpet came with me.

So I’m driving up Botley road at about 10 o’clock…..POW!!!

Something bounces off my windscreen. “F*ck me” thinks I, “It’s a bit late for a pigeon to be out!”, and I continue driving.

I get to Lyons Copse, and as I am reversing up to the gate to unload my stuff, a bunch of Explorer Scouts walk up to my car to speak to me. I guessed maybe that they thought I was somebody else, but as I got out of my car, one of them says:

“Hey mate, have you seen what’s on your roof?”

So I turn around…to be confronted by a rather unpleasant sight…a Tawny Owl tangled up in my roof rack.

My first reaction was to recoil in surprise. My second reaction?

“Oh, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!”

I was gutted. I’ve loved birds of prey since I was a kid, and to have killed one…well, lets just say that even though I didn’t cry,  I felt like it…

Anyway, it was very obviously dead, and I was trying to delay the task of untangling it from my roof rack, so I went to tell the other leaders what had transpired.

John came out and had a look, and without hesitation took it off my car. A few second later he said:

“Dave? You’re aware that it isn’t dead yet, aren’t you?”

“Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, nooooooo!”

“Yeah, look - you can see it breathing.”

The long drawn out swear words carried on for a while, as we discussed how to put it out of it’s misery. There was talk of swinging it’s head at a post, me driving my car over it quickly, and others, none of which held much appeal.

Then Limpet said something that simultaneously filled me with relief and dread….

“Did anybody bring an axe out with them?”

I turned away while Limpet performed the actual execution, but I did witness the after death movement and twitches, which were numerous and extreme. It was not something I’ll ever forget.

Almost as disturbing as that was the way  that John and Limpet found the while situation most humurous…

Sick wierdo bastards!!!

Is it a symptom of getting too old to be in denial about your age?

I always figured I was a little young to be having a mid life crisis, but in the past few years I have taken up motorcycling, gotten into neo-punk music and back into metal, taken up not one, but two instruments, both of the rock variety, contemplated getting a tattoo again (very recently, this one), decided to grow my hair long again (last time was ten years ago), I occasionally hang around with guys who are half my age, and probably the worst of all….I’ve created a MySpace page!!!!

Oh my god!!!!!

……..

…you know what? I really couldn’t give a flying f*ck!!!

NO! Am I b*ll*cks.

I went to the Wedgewood Rooms last night, primarily because the Pancake Eating Freaks were playing, but also because they were supporting the UK Rage Against The Machine Tribute band. I loved Rage’s first album, and so was keen to see some of it performed live.

I did two trips to Portsmouth, well three actually. First I took Kyle and his drums up in time for the soundcheck at 18:00, then I went up at 19:00 with one of my ex-Scouts, Max, and one of his mates, Matt. We just got onto the M275 when Tom phoned and said that he’d forgotten his capo (that’s the thing that goes on your guitar’s neck to raise the pitch a note or five, in case you didn’t know), and because he had to have it for one of his songs, I turned around and headed back to Fareham to get mine. Fortunately I knew where it was, and got back for about 20:10. The band were on first, at 20:30.

I am intending to make a music video for them, to go with one of their demo tracks “Can I Get Away”, and I wanted some live footage to splice into the stuff I shot at the Dugout and the Old Blacksmiths recording studio (of them actually recording the demo), so I filmed them doing their set. This time, I had the presence of mind to remember my earplugs, as last time I was filming them, I was sat with my right ear smack in the bass bin, and it was making me go a bit mutton.

So how did they do? Well, not fantastic, truth be told. Tom’s guitar was too quiet to begin with (although I think the sound guy turned it up about two songs in. He also screwed up a few parts, especially at the start, but settled into it by the end. Aaron played pretty solidly, but his voice broke part way through a song! Kyle’s arm has been playing up lately, and it seemed to aggravate him again.

Kyle, get your arse to a doctor, or I will rip your f*cking arm off, and beat you to death with the soggy end!

The good thing about them is that when they do bugger up (which, to be honest, happens a lot less than most other local bands I have seen), they don’t go to pieces, they just make a joke of it and press on. I’d absolutely sh*t it if I screwed up (probably), and mess up the rest of the song.

As for the rest of the evening, well, this is where I get back to the title of this post.

Now, I have no problem with loud. I think you’ve got to juice it up a bit to really feel it, or to make that last bit sound slightly less rude (ahem), you’ve got to turn up the volume a bit to get the full effect of the music. The thing is, it is music, and part of the magic of the music is the way the different instruments combine with each other to create unique sounds and harmonies. After all, these instruments have been hundreds, or in the case of drums, thousands of years in the evolving, and the refinement and sheer range of tones and effects you can get from these instuments is mind-blowing.

When you turn the amplification up on these instruments, and get the balance just right, the music can really penetrate to your soul and move you in ways you never knew existed. It can literally change your life.

Turn it up too much, and all those wonderful tones and harmonies fuse into one nasty, tuneless, f*cked up melee of noise, and I think it is a terrible waste. There were two other bands on that night, Sons of Caine and MOFO, and they may have been really good, but unfortunately, I could not pick out anywhere enough detail to remember any of their songs if I ever heard them again. Sons of Caine sounded like they could have been (as Kyle pointed out before they started) a good band in the mould of Disturbed, but again, I couldn’t tell. They had two guitarists, and it sounded like they may have had some good chops, but as far as I could hear, they may have well had just one guitarist - I could not differentiate between their parts at all. MOFO had some good funky sh*t going on, and they were a little more defined acoustically. I was well impressed by Steve, who I met a while ago working at FourFour - he had a real presence on stage, very imposing.
The Rage Tribute Band (I assume this is their page - the links aren’t working) were very good indeed. The vocalist was pretty true to Zach’s original stuff, and the guitarist had all the tweaks and alterations needed to recreate Tom Morello’s more ‘creative’ guitar parts. My only gripe was when they played ‘Know Your Enemy’ (my favourite Rage song), they buggered up the part when the drums kick in after the main guitar riff, and came in too quickly. Well, I say they buggered it up, but it might be that they played it according to the live versions, I’m not sure.

Of almost as much interest was the mosh pit! They were pretty intense in there, but then I guess you would expect that from a Rage Against the Machine gig! I was standing just off to the side of it, and there was some tw*t on the edge of it who lacked the balls to actually get in there, and was limiting himself to pushing people back in, and throwing the odd punch in to the mix. The pr*ck got what was coming to him though, as he connected with someone who saw him do it, and the guy decked him, or rather, he punched/pushed him straight into me,and had to be held off by his mates! I had to be careful where I stood, as I was carrying my video camera. Not that I would have gotten in the mosh pit if I didn’t have it - I haven’t moshed for years, and don’t really ever intend to again if I can help it! Max’s mate Matt got pushed by one of his ‘friends’ in the direction of the main pit, and he got sucked in, disappearing amidst a frenzy of pushing and jumping, just as the whole damn thing collapsed in on itself. Bear in mind that Matt is only thirteen, is quite small, and remembering at that precise moment that I was responsible for getting him home in one piece….I absolutely sh*t it! I was considering how the f*ck to get in there and heave him out when he appeared from a gap within, with a massive smile on his face. Phew!

Overall, a pretty good night, even with all my gripes about the volume and stuff. I don’t go to nearly enough gigs, and I intend to remedy that…but then I’ve been saying that for a few years now. I am going to two in May - first Roger Waters on the 11th at Earls Court, and then back to London on the 13th to see Spock’s Beard (currently my favourite band). Of course - I haven’t got tickets for that one yet, must get looking…

Anyway, to finish this post, the title refers to an old adage: “If it’s too loud, you’re too old”. F*ck that - I like it loud…I just like to be able to hear the music…you know - the melody and stuff?! It is a music gig after all, not a cock-measuring competition!