The Chapman Zone Dave’s Blog

I ask because I just had another one of those quintessential guitar playing moments - I broke a string while I was playing!

And it was the low E string!

They told me abotu this ages ago, but I managed to arrange a Scout meeting for the same night, so I resigned myself to missing the gig.

I get a phone call in the middle of the meeting from Tom , telling me that the contest is running a bit late, and that they won’t be on until 21:30 at the earliest.

Cool, I thought - if I kick the Scouts out at 21:00 on the dot I will just make it.

Then Kyle phoned me about ten minutes later, telling me that he forgot to take his drum key, and could I go to my house and get mine for him.

So, I’m hammering it down the other side of Portsdown Hill road, and manage to shoot straight past the turning I need to take (Tom actually told me to go past Fort Widley right to the end of the road, but that would have taken me into Bedhampton, and he did mention a corner with a pub on it (turns out he meant the George Inn).

The pub they were playing at was the Hampshire Rose, and I made it with time to spare. The band before them (Black Fox) were still playing their set, and the guys were just standing around not looking at all nervous (they seem to be unfamiliar with the concept of stage fright). Black Fox were a sort of Kings of Leon type band - you know, very modern and quirky (I hate bands like that). Thing is, even if I hate the music being played, there is something about hearing it live that makes it much more enjoyable.

On to the Freaks’ set. They worked it out on Saturday night at the Dug Out. It had to be half an hour long (they get marked down for being too long or too short), and they have written enough of their own songs to only need one cover in the set (Blink 182 - The Rock Show).

To cut a long story short, they rocked! Their two best songs, ‘I Need You Here’ and ‘Get The Girl’ were the first and last songs respectively, and by the second or third song they had a small group of blokes (well lathered by this time) up and moshing on the dance floor. Aaron did not move much, as he was squashed in on one side of the stage, but Tom was jumping around all the way through, he even got the drunks clapping along and waving their hands around. Also, I’ve never heard them sing so well, probably because they were singing through a decent set up for a change.

They really rose to the occasion, and got their reward when they won the heat. They only won it by four points though, and the result is determined by an aggregate score over two legs. The next one is at the Rose again, on May 8th. I shall be making damn sure that I am not Scouting on that night!

Potential icing on the cake came when the organiser came up to the band and told them that they could make some good money on the local circuit if they learned a few more Blink 182 songs. Apparently they are crying out for Blink tribute band, as there are none around.

Thing is, the guys basically taught themselves how to play on a strict diet of Blink 182, so they must know over twenty of their songs already, and can play them in their sleep! I just hope the guy phones them.

So serious congratulations to the guys - you did yourselves proud. And I promise that we will get some shots together in time to creat a kick-*rse sleeve for your demo.

Oh yeah, I just realised why they don’t suffer from stage fright - me and Simon (Kyle and Aaron’s dad) were having it for them…

I am quite a considerate chap really. If I feel the urge to practise my electric guitar I don’t bother with the amp - I usually either play it unplugged or plug the headphones into the digitech pedal, even though it sounds cr*p.

Dad went away on Friday morning on a narrowboating holiday, and I have the house to myself. Apart from the usual things one does, like pee with the toilet door open and strut around the house nude, I like to plug the strat into the amp and crank it up. I still keep it civilised, so as not to cheese off the neighbours, though I have had it louder and they have yet to complain, but it is pretty loud.

Tonight I decided to have a go at two songs that require two guitars. Hopefully Tom will be willing to learn the other guitar parts (I suspect he already knows them) and we can play together. The songs were ‘The Kids Aren’t Alright’ by The Offspring (which Tom was playing last night - that’s how I got the idea for that one) and ‘Monkey Wrench’ by the Foo Fighters.

Both are pretty straightforward songs, but playing them and playing them well are two entirely different things. I decided to follow Tom’s advice, and concentrate on playing it all the way through, which means playing it badly and keep going through the mistakes. So after spending about half an hour on the intro to ‘Kids’, I put on the original ‘Monkey Wrench’ and played along to it about six times. It was rough as a badger’s armpit, but I could hear myself getting better slowly. I also got a little into it, and started moving around while playing for the first time ever. I made myself practise standing up tonight, and the legs started to spread, the head started to bang, and I started to get a bit more physical with the guitar.

While I am here, I’d like to wish the Freaks good luck - thay are playing in Battle of the Bands in Pompey tomorrow. I wish I could go, but I’d already made plans with the Scouts. They are playing a second heat though, and I will make sure I’m free to see that. I might try to rustle up a few friends to come along as well.

Wet, cloudy and gusty, I mean. Like it was when me and Cornell decided to go out for a ride on Saturday.

Actually, when we decided, the weather was dry, if a little overcast, and as soon as Cornell left his house, it started. He turned up at my door (I can always hear him coming a mile off) dripping wet, and said “well, I now know that my leathers are

not

waterproof!”

I need to get my head back into motorbiking, as during this cold snap we had I did not ride more than twice, and I was glad I did, as I was rusty as hell. My clutch control was sloppy, my braking was erratic, and my cornering was borderline dangerous, as I nearly lost it round a couple of bends, and I felt extremely uncomfortable riding in those conditions. The waterproof trousers I own don’t help, as they absolutely suck, and allow me next to no freedom of movement.

It went from “extremely uncomfortable” to “absolutely bricking it” when we went over the top of Portsdown Hill. We basically drove through a cloud, and I couldn’t see squat. I was wiping my visor every ten seconds, and that only helped a tiny bit. There was some total tool in a car in front of me that kept slowing down (and stopping at a couple of places) in front of me. There were times along that stretch where I literally could not see. At all. I was almost tempted to stop at one stage and wait for it to improve before continuing.

We cracked on and went into Waterlooville to have a look at Quicks, the archery store. I picked up a tab (the thing that protects your fingers when you draw the bowstring), and then we had a quick look in JS Accessories, where I picked up a pair of inner gloves. For both purchases I was wondering if my card was going to be refused (a week to go till pay day, and I must be close to skint!).

Coming back I felt a lot more comfortable, as I was making a conscious effort to relax and ease into every bend early. It was good to get out in the elements like that, and I enjoyed it, even though my boots were half full of water by the time I got home, and my gloves were absolutely sodden. The rest of me was bone dry though.

And it is always especially nice to strip out of all those wet clothes and slip into a hot shower!

I can’t wait to get a big bike…..

Somebody at work has just posted on the discussion database.

They are selling a 51 plate Triumph Bonneville with 1100 miles on the clock, in ‘as new’ condition, for £3000.

£3000 is out of my price range……….but its a Bonneville!

I mean come on!

It’s a Triumph Bonneville!

I can’t! It’s too much! And I haven’t even passed my test yet!

Aaaaaaaargh!!!

As an aside, it is owned by the father of one of the Manic Street Preachers, and it was bought for him by his son!

……I’m not going to be able to think about anything else for the whole weekend now……….

Dude…..

I went for another nets session last night.

There were a few different faces. I fact no-one that was there last week was there this week (except me and Ant). The bowlers were a fair bit faster than last week, and I was getting a little nervous at the bat! Ant got me in the groin again, but I think I stepped into it this time.

Fortunately I didn’t get hit anywhere else except the pads, and my bowling was steady (if unspectacular) again this week, and because I properly warmed up this time I don’t feel too bad in the shoulder and back area.

Best news was, after we had finished, Chris (the club chairman) came up me and Ant and said “good to have you on the team”. Which, I assume, means that we’ll be getting a game or two this summer.

Nice!

Gotta go and buy a box and some whites now………

I had a particularly constructive weekend for a change.

I have this mountainous list of ‘to do’ tasks, most of them little, and many of them that have been hanging around for months and months. Usually at the weekend I will have a brief go at one or two of them, but not make much progress.

Friday night at Scouts was an easy one, even though Gareth and Alan (the two assistant Leaders) couldn’t make it. I was premiering the DVD of Summer Camp 2005, so all I had to do was arrange to borrow a projector and screen from somewhere and set up the kit on the night. The DVD was recieved well (phew!) and it even got a round of applause at the end (which was nice!). I did get a bit worried about it being too long (1 hour and 45 minutes!) and boring, and as I have watched it dozens of times now (editing and QA-ing copies), and that makes you lose your perspective on it somewhat. I shall be putting it on sale, with a bonus DVD of a photo album of the camp, for £10.

After the premier, and since we had the projector set up, we decided a while ago to hold a video night. We had about ten Scouts stay on for that one (I wonder if the parents of the younger Scouts were a little worried about what we were going to watch!). Actually it was just as well, as one of the movies we watched was a little bluer than I has anticipated! Nothing too major, it was The Dukes of Hazzard, and being the movie version it had a lot more cussing and titties than I remember the series to have!

Next I made them watch Weird Science - a true classic movie from the eighties, and they seemed to like it. The Legend of Zorro was the last movie on our list, and to be honest it wasn’t good enough to keep them all awake at 03:00 Saturday morning! For some reason, I was totally awake, and packed up all the kit before going to bed, rather than do it first thing after waking up.

When I got home, I helped my dad dig a pit under the gazebo that he is building. Six foot by six foot by about eight inches deep - a nice bit of graft for a Saturday morning. We did a bit of shopping for some ballast and hardcore for the base of the paving slabs that are going in there.

I managed to get a large amount of tidying done around my room - it’s an absolute sh…..pig sty. On of the more portentious things I did to make my room tidier is to pack away my electric drum kit. I stored it under the bed in the spare room, so I can set it up in ten minutes or so, but I’m wondering how long it will be before I get it out again….

I haven’t picked up the guitar properly for weeks either……must do something about that!

I went down to the Scout HQ with Cornell for another session of archery. I think I am getting better (slowly) - I didn’t miss the straw butt at all today! I am looking forward to getting some training at a club.

Sunday afternoon we went down to shoot some more, only to find that the dance troop were in the hut. Actually, that worked out quite well as we went back to Cornell’s and cleaned our bikes. I was able to get rid of a lot (most actually) of the surface rust that has blighted the bike’s appearance for the past few months (that was the first time I cleaned it!) - it looks a lot better all shiny and clean!

Sunday evening was spent tidying, doing some work on my PC (more tidying, just a different kind!) and watching Thunderbirds: The Movie, which was really good! I was expecting it to be utter rubbish, but I really enjoyed it!

Added to all that, I managed to get about a dozen other little things done that have been hanging around for ages. Plus the weekend seemed to last for a good long time, rather than just flying by.

If only I could spend all my time so constructively!

I just managed to add a domain to the chapmanzone - the Scout web page I was talking about a while ago, and I managed to upload an html page that I created as well, and without Cornell’s help! He will be proud!

Take a look - www1stfareham.org

OK, its a basic HTML page with nothing but text - pretty boring stuff….but it’s a start! I shall now use this page as the starting point to develop my web……errrr, development skills.

There are some links at the top of the page that are supposed to take you down the page which don’t work, and the information on it is already out of date….but at least I got it up. Cornell is going to have a peek when he gets back to his place tonight and tell me what I’ve done wrong.

I can just picture the National Society for the Preservation of St George’s Day (or St David’s or St Andrew’s Day) sitting worriedly round a table, saying “It’s terrible! Why is St Patrick’s Day celebrated more widely in our country than our own Patron Saint’s day? What are we doing wrong? How can we turn it around?”

Well, if such an organisation exists, and they happen to be reading this site (it COULD happen!), I’ll tell you how you can guarantee a successful day……make it all about booze!

Change the story of St George, so that he was a cheeky-chappy cockney pub landlord in the dark ages, and killed the dragon by hurling bottles of Gordon’s Gin at him and then beating him to death with a copy of the Sunday Sport. Of course, they would have to make out that he was totally p*ssed when he did this, so that everyone could celebrate the day by going out and getting totally bladdered as well, before walking home throwing heavy objects at people’s cars and property as they pass.

Sure fire way of guaranteeing that St George’s day will be a roaring success for the pubs and off-licenses.

I mean seriously, how many of the drunken t*ssers, staggering home tonight in their silly hats and “wearing o’ the green”, slurring their inane cr*p in an appaling Irish accent, actually have a fr*gging clue who St Patrick was? Or what he did? If I walked around my home town tonight with a tenner in change, asking every reveller I passed what St Patrick did to become the Patron Saint of Ireland, and gave a pound to everyone who answered correctly, I would still be able to afford a taxi home at the end of the evening!

I am not teetotal or anything. I don’t drink much at all anymore, except at special occasions (like weddings), but I used to - quite a lot. I’ve got no problem with people enjoying a drink, or even over-indulging once in a while. I do however think that this country has created a ‘drinking culture’ whereby most of the population have been hypnotised into believing that, if you go out of an evening, it is impossible to have a good when you’re sober.

It used to be that people went out to pubs or other meeting places to actually meet, to converse, and to enjoy each other’s company in a conducive atmosphere, and alcohol was an aid to relaxation and losing inhibition (which would aid the conversation). Nowadays, all pubs of character are closing down, and people are squeezing into soulless ‘fast-drink dispensaries’. And why? Not to talk, no, most of these so-called pubs play what they pass as ‘music’ as loud as possible so you can’t hear what you’re saying. Maybe the pubs feel that people drink less when they’re talking…

Nowadays, too many people go out to drink. That’s it - all other aspects of the evening are secondary to the consuming of as much alcohol as possible. And I get the impression that there is a growing number of people whose life consists of working, coming home and watching television, and getting wasted on the weekends. And that’s it.

…sad b*st*rds…….

…actually it is, because that’s what I did last night!

Last year, I got chatting to Andy, a friend of mine at work, about the works cricket team. Apparently they were looking out for new members, as they were struggling to get a full team together for some fixtures. He asked me if I might be interested in playing.

Now, I love to play cricket, and I’m starting to develop an interest in watching it, but my recent playing experience is limited to getting the odd game in every few years with a tennis ball and kids-size cricket set. The last time I really played cricket for real was at school…..eighteen years ago! So, as you can imagine, I was a little hesitant to say “yeah, I can play cricket!” Andy told me that the team would be getting in some training down at the Rosebowl nets in Winter, so I said that I would turn up to one of those.

Winter came and started to go, then it came back again, and I still hadn’t been for a practise. To be honest, I was afraid to go on two fronts: 1. I didn’t want to go there and totally embarrass myself and 2. I didn’t want to go on my own (I don’t know any other members of the team except Nigel, and he’d done his sessions already). So a couple of weeks ago I asked Andy if he was still planning to go down, and he said he was going in a couple of weeks. Great! He said it was fine for me to tag along with him.

I was chatting to another friend of mine who works here, Ant, and he revealed that he had played for the Cricket team several years ago (that dark horse!), and when I mentioned that I was going to a net session, he decided to pick up bat and balls (there’s a double-entendre in there somewhere) and get back into it - so there would be two familiar faces there - superb! That would lessen the feeling of humiliation I would feel if I turned out to be utter cr*p. I’m not sure how that works, or even if I believed it, but I thought “sod it - life’s too short to worry about stupid things like making a fool of yourself”.

I was informed that I would need non-marking soles and a white top for the evening, so I made a dash for Whiteley shops yesterday lunchtime for a pair of tracksuit trousers, a white top and a pair of trainers.

Andy picked me up at 19:30 and we went to the rosebowl. Nice place! I’ve never been before, but I was impressed.

So, we met up with the other guys and went up the nets. The way it works is you get to bat for ten minutes, and all the other guys line up and take turns bowling at you. As your ten minutes comes to an end, another guy gets padded up and then takes your place. There are six guys to a net. I managed to volunteer Ant to bat first - it was either him or me!

I was expecting a display of top class cricket from the other guys attending - scorching fast balls, masses of swing, milliseconds to react. What I actually saw was quite mellow by comparison, which put me at ease straight away. When it came to my turn to bowl, I was quite relaxed, as one of the guys before me had bowled a wild one miles off target, and no-one made a big deal out of it.

I was really pleased with my bowling, and my batting when it came to my turn. Although by no means spectacular, I bowled with adequate line and length (apart from the odd stray one!), and even managed to sneak in for a couple of wickets. My batting is utterly without technique, so nearly every cut or sweep shot I played I missed, but as soon as one came straight at the stumps I gave it a good spanking! I don’t think England are going to give me a call anytime soon though….

Watching Ant play, you could see that he’d done this before. He bowls with spin, and it didn’t take him long to find it again. He tricked me with one that caught me right in the plums - thank god for the club box! His batting was assured, with (from my virtually clueless eye) good technique and timing.

I really enjoyed myself, and from what Andy said, I should be able to get on the team (Cool!). I think Ant should have no trouble getting in, and he enjoyed himself as well. We both agreed that we want to get another net session though!

So….another hobby that I can (and most likely will) blow copious quantities of cash on - great!